


afflictions and affections

by BnessZ



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Alternate Universe - College/University, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Fluff, Implied Sexual Content, Kissing, M/M, Tooth-Rotting Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-28
Updated: 2019-03-28
Packaged: 2019-12-25 21:12:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,112
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18269429
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BnessZ/pseuds/BnessZ
Summary: The one where things start as an act and get wildly out of hand





	afflictions and affections

**Author's Note:**

  * For [annakaashi](https://archiveofourown.org/users/annakaashi/gifts).



> So, a few things, i guess. I wanted to play around with the idea that just cuz someone is aromantic, does not mean they aren't sexually active. This shouldn't have to be said,but, just in case, the tiny bit of angst that's in here isn't to paint anyone as a bad guy. They all fucked up in their own ways. They're in their early 20's. It happens. And this was my first time doing Kuroo pov so hopefully i pulled it off. And then the narration style i attempted sort of failed, but i kept bits of it that felt necessary so sorry if that's a bit weird xD
> 
> ANYWAYS. I have a lot of feelings for akakuro and this trope, so... Enjoy!~ (i blame Anna)
> 
> Thank you to [Stella](https://archiveofourown.org/users/choir) for helping me with this! <3

Tetsurou pushes further into the kiss, pressing Akaashi into the couch.

 

Akaashi makes a noise, something akin to a whimper, but then pulls away. “Tetsu,” he pants, “I need to tell you something.”

 

_ “Now?” _ He doesn't mean to hiss, but his blood is pumping and he does not take kindly to being interrupted in any way, for anything.

 

“Yes, it's important.” A heavy pause, Akaashi's eyes darting around before locking on Tetsurou's. “I think it's time to end this charade.”

 

Tetsurou—  

 

**Oh, wait, you know what? Let's just go back a bit, shall we? You seem confused. Let's rewind a couple months…. Let's see… Ah, yes! Let's go back to March.**

 

“Akaashi,” Tetsurou sniffles in the doorway. He tries not to think about how disheveled he must look, with puffy, red eyes and drooping hair, panting from the run here.

 

Akaashi's eyes widen a fraction of a notch. They look Tetsurou up and down slowly, teal eyes swimming with confusion and half hidden worry. “Kuroo-san? What happened?”

 

Dignity already out the window, Tetsurou wipes his nose on his sleeve. “Can I come in?”

 

Akaashi all but jumps away from the door. “Of course. I'll make some tea.”

 

Tetsurou sniffs again, toeing off his shoes. “Can it be hot chocolate instead? Spiked with rum?”

 

That pulls a chuckle from Akaashi as he moves into his kitchen. “Sure.”

 

Tetsurou shuffles over to the couch, flopping onto it with a sad grunt. In most cases, he would not trust Akaashi in the kitchen. With anything. But this is just hot chocolate, surely even Akaashi can make that. And besides, Tetsurou is very much not in the mood to do anything right now.

 

Groaning, Tetsurou squeezes his eyes shut and begs them to not tear up again. It's fine, everything is fine,  _ Tetsurou  _ is  _ fine.  _

  
  


Tetsurou only knows Akaashi has joined him by the clank on the coffee table and slight shift of weight at the very end of the couch. He doesn't say anything for a while, but when it becomes clear that Tetsurou isn't going to either, he sighs.

 

“Kuroo-san, why are you here?”

 

It's a loaded question, one that would sound rude from anyone else, but Akaashi says it with concern. Akaashi's question also holds  _ why are you here and not with Bokuto? What happened? Are you okay? _

 

Tetsurou sniffs again, dragging himself into a sitting position. He grabs the mug, sips on it, tastes burnt chocolate and a hint of coconut rum touch his tongue. Not great, but not as bad as Akaashi's usual food plunders.

 

And the alcohol definitely helps.

 

“I got rejected.”

 

He feels Akaashi go very still. It's obvious to anyone with a set of eyes who Tetsurou has been crushing on. For years, even, since he first met the guy. It's slightly more of a surprise to realize that Akaashi at least used to like the same person.

 

Tetsurou is pretty sure he still does, but Akaashi is as secretive as he is weird.

 

“What did he say?”

 

Taking a large gulp of the drink, Tetsurou lets the alcohol burn its way down his throat before answering, thanking his lucky stars that Akaashi made the drink strong.

 

“He's aromantic, Akaashi.”

 

Tetsurou expects wide eyes, a confused question. What he doesn't expect is to find Akaashi avoiding his gaze, gnawing on his bottom lip, fingers drumming on his mug.

 

“I see.”

 

Tetsurou narrows his eyes. “You knew, didn't you?”

 

Silence. Heavy and pressing on Tetsurou's lungs and it's like being rejected all over again. His chest hurts, pin pricks dancing along his skin as his eyes well up.

 

“Why didn't you tell me?” He hisses out. It's hard to breathe.

 

Akaashi slowly turns back to look at him, teal eyes turned steel, face neutral and betraying any war that rages within him. “Bokuto asked me not to.”

 

“But you—”

 

“Exactly.” He says, and then he chugs the rest of his drink before inching closer to Tetsurou, until their knees almost touch. “He knew, Kuroo-san. He knew that you liked him and he wanted to be the one to tell you. But Bokuto is just… _ Bokuto, _ and he didn't want to hurt you, so he couldn't figure out how.”  

 

**Ah, you know what, we went too far back. Yep, let’s just, uh, fast forward a bit to… April! Nothing exciting happens until April, anyway. Just a bunch of moping.**

 

Akaashi lowers the camera, leveling Tetsurou with a deadpan look. 

 

“Are you done?” 

 

“Aw, come on, Akaashi! Live a little, enjoy the sights.” 

 

“I can enjoy them without posing in front of every single one.” 

 

“You know, this is why I prefer Bo’s company.” 

 

A short sigh huffs out of Akaashi’s mouth, eyes rolling. 

 

“You said anything I want, didn’t you? And I want to enjoy the sights and take pictures. Now come here and take one with me.” 

 

A war rages in Akaashi’s eyes before he slumps slightly in defeat, walking over and letting Tetsurou wrap an arm around his shoulder. “Smile!” 

 

Akaashi doesn’t smile, he’s actually not looking at the camera at all. Tetsurou laughs so hard he almost cracks a rib when he looks at the picture and sees Akaashi’s look of complete and utter disgust at the face Tetsurou is pulling. 

 

A light flush rests on Akaashi’s cheeks, which Tetsurou does not leave unmentioned. Akaashi huffs. “You didn’t need to cross your eyes  _ and  _ stick out your tongue  _ and  _ do a peace sign.” 

 

“I’m making a statement, Akaashi.” 

 

“Of what? Stupidity?” 

 

“Of  _ tourism.  _ I thought that would be easy for a smart guy like you to figure out.” 

 

The only reply Tetsurou gets is a middle finger as Akaashi walks away. He laughs, jogging to catch up. Tetsurou is having more fun than he expected when Akaashi suggested going out and about, especially since it had been because “you and Bokuto have both been moping for a month and it’s tiring and cheering you up would make Bokuto happy”. 

 

A sap underneath a heavy guise, Akaashi has been worried about them both these past few weeks. Not many can tell, but Tetsurou can see how Akaashi has been shifting even more around them lately, how Akaashi chews on his lips more before speaking, as if walking on eggshells. Tetsurou has noticed the increasing amount of torn hangnails. And he knows that if he has noticed, Bokuto definitely has, which cannot help his guilty, pitying moods lately. 

 

And if Bokuto has noticed, then  _ Konoha  _ has noticed and is probably about two days from kicking Tetsurou’s ass. 

 

“Where to next?” Akaashi asks around a yawn. 

 

They’ve been walking around for a few hours, and that was after the train ride to get here. But Tetsurou has a plan, something that has never failed to cheer him up before. “It’s almost sundown, so just follow me.” 

 

“That sounds ominous.” 

 

“Do you always have to be such an ass?” 

 

“Yes.”

 

Tetsurou sighs. They walk in silence for a little while, though Tetsurou makes them stop a few times more for pictures. He manages to startle a laugh out of Akaashi by jumping into the arms of a statue though, so he considers that a win. 

 

When they reach Tetsurou’s dad's old work building, he pauses, turns to Akaashi. “Hey, Kaashi, let me ask you something real quick.” 

 

Akaashi turns his confused gaze from the building to Tetsurou’s face. “Sure.” 

 

“Why are you here? With me?” He shifts his gaze away. “And not with Bo?” 

 

“I’ve hung out with Bokuto a lot,” he says. “But I can’t just focus all my energy on one friend.” 

 

His voice is off and Tetsurou looks up, but Akaashi has already pushed any lingering emotions from his eyes. “I guess you’re right,” Tetsurou replies, but he narrows his eyes. 

 

Akaashi notices, but decides to turn his gaze up at the building instead. “Why are we here?” 

 

“I wanna show you something. Come on.”

 

Tetsurou leads Akaashi inside, up all of the flights of stairs, and outside roof access.

 

“Isn't this off limits?”

 

Waving a hand in the air, Tetsurou opens the door. “Don't sweat the details. Come on.”

 

The sun has just starting kissing the horizon when they walk out and Tetsurou helps Akaashi over the rail. They sit with their legs dangling down, cars just little blurs below their feet.

 

Golden light spills over the top of other buildings, splaying across Akaashi's face. Tetsurou pauses in his thoughts for a split second when he turns to Akaashi, awestruck by how the light softens the angles of his face, makes the teal of his eyes glow. The wind ruffles the curls, making them almost flickering flames in the dying sunlight.

 

Akaashi turns to him. “This is a really nice view.”

 

Tetsurou blinks, clears his throat and looks away. “Just wait,” he says.

 

Akaashi hums, looking around before leaning back, head on his arms. Tetsurou watches the sun sink, something tight in his chest, as if the day ending is somehow a metaphor for a phase in his life. Maybe, he thinks, looking at Akaashi tentatively, it’s a sign to move on. 

 

“Hey, Akaashi,” Tetsurou says slowly.

 

The light is fading, turning Akaashi’s eyes cool and steely, but the first star appears, reflecting in them, almost like it belongs there. Akaashi doesn’t peel his gaze away, and there are little telltale signs that show how much he loves the view. The smallest upturn of his lips, eyelids relaxed, a long, content sigh escaping his lips. Little details that most people miss, highlighting Akaashi’s emotions. 

 

“What?”

 

“I—” Licking at dry lips, Tetsurou takes a deep breath. “I had a lot of fun today. So I was… thinking… that maybe to help me get over Bo, you and I, uh... could pretend to date? That way, Bo would think I’m happy and have moved on and wouldn’t mope anymore?” 

 

Akaashi’s mouth falls open, eyes wide as he turns to look at Tetsurou. “What?” 

 

“I mean! Only if you’d be okay with that. It’s just… then Bo would be happy and I would have a reason to stop sitting on my sorry ass. Just for a little while.” 

 

It’s a chilling silence, with Akaashi’s eyes boring into him, emotions swirling before freezing, mouth pursing closed, not willing to show how the question makes him feel. It’s common for Akaashi to close himself off this way but, just this once, Tetsurou wishes he wouldn’t. 

 

Finally, quiet and wrapped within the puff of air that curls out of his mouth, “I don’t know if I can lie to Bokuto like that, Kuroo-san.” 

 

Tetsurou perks up a little. He expected a flat out rejection, but with this there is no  _ ew, no way  _ or  _ that’s a dumb idea  _ or anything overly disheartening. “It’s for the greater good, Akaashi. And besides, it wouldn’t be that much different than just hanging out.” 

 

Akaashi gives him a long look. Anxiety and something else, something almost warm, has settled in his eyes, but he’s turning back to the sky before Tetsurou can fully grasp what any of it means. 

 

The stars are above them, beautiful and clear from here. It’s a view that always leaves Tetsurou wanting to wax poetry, to give the person that he loves words of how even the beauty of the night sky is nothing next to them, how he would rob the sky of its stars and moon if it meant they would be happy. He always thought he would write it some day, give it to Bokuto on an anniversary of some kind. 

 

The stars have always brought out the most intimate parts of Tetsurou.

 

“I’ll think about it,” Akaashi says, voice as cold as the air around them. 

 

A falling star streaks across the sky, and Tetsurou pours all of his hopes and dreams into it. 

 

*

 

A sharp knock at the door, and Tetsurou tumbles off his couch.   

 

Looking up in confusion, he sees Netflix asking if he’s still watching, slots of light peeking through his curtains, and a clock that informs him that it’s ten in the morning. His back creeks when he pushes himself up, making sure he regrets falling asleep on the couch. He groans. 

 

Another knock. 

 

“Yeah, yeah,” he says around a yawn, “I’m coming.” 

 

He opens the door, surprised when he finds Akaashi there, fiddling with his hands. Curly hair sticks up at odd angles, sweatpants cling to his hips, a loose shirt falling off his shoulders, and purple circles under foggy eyes. 

 

“You’re up before noon on a Sunday?” 

Akaashi levels him with a glare. “Nice to see you too, Kuroo-san.” 

 

Tetsurou chuckles. “Morning, Akaashi. To what do I owe this pleasure?” 

 

Sighing, Akaashi brushes past Tetsurou into the apartment. “I couldn’t sleep last night. Because of your… offer.” 

 

“My offer?”

 

Akaashi doesn’t say anything until his shoes are lined up at the door and he slumps on Kuroo’s couch. Even then, he waits until Tetsurou sits next him, before peeling open an eye of steel and looking down at Tetsurou. 

 

“I’ll be your fake boyfriend.” 

 

Tetsurou sits straighter, angles himself to get a better look at Akaashi. His eyes are closed again, and Tetsurou curses Bokuto for letting Akaashi ever know that his eyes are a surefire way to read him. With them shut, Akaashi is impossible to read, even managing to leave his hands slack beside him. 

 

Tetsurou hopes he doesn’t sound too incredulous when he asks, “Really?”

 

“Yeah,” Akaashi says, and his voice is airy, but Tetsurou can’t tell if it’s from annoyance or something else. “I should probably… try to move on, too.” 

 

“Okay,” Tetsurou says, and now he’s shaking from excitement and nerves. “Okay. So how do we do this?” 

 

Now, Akaashi smirks, finally lifting his head from the back of the couch to look at Tetsurou, eyes full of mirth. “It was your idea, shouldn’t you know?” 

 

“I—” Tetsurou bites his lip. He can all but hear Kozume telling him how awful of an idea this is, how horrifically it’ll crash and burn. But he can also hear Kozume’s sigh of defeat as he suggests, “we should make a contract.” 

 

“What?”

 

“You know!” Tetsurou says, though Akaashi’s look definitely says that he does  _ not _ know. “Like… what we will and will not do, how we act around other people… stuff like that.” 

 

Akaashi studies Tetsurou for a moment, trying to analyze the words and possible outcomes. Tetsurou can all but hear the gears turning, kicking into overdrive, just as they always do. 

 

“Yeah, okay,” he finally says. “Like what?” 

 

It takes a lot of brainstorming and awkward jokes to get them there, but Tetsurou and Akaashi eventually come up with a list:

 

  1. They will use given names. 
  2. They will only have a date every Saturday. 
  3. They will not have sex.
  4. They will only kiss around other people. 
  5. Only Konoha and Kozume can know, but telling them should be avoided. 



 

“Seems straight forward enough,” Akaashi says. 

“Unlike us.” 

 

Tetsurou just laughs when Akaashi stands up and walks out the door. 

 

*

 

“Dating.” Bokuto says, eyeing them both. 

 

His gaze lingers on Akaashi, who gives his signature deadpan expression, before turning to Tetsurou, suspicious. Eyes flicker to their hands, loosely intertwined between them. “Since when? What happened?” 

 

Akaashi’s grip tightens slightly, fingers cool against Tetsurou’s hot skin. Tetsurou puts on his best smile. “Only since yesterday! Akaashi took me out on this really nice date, and then he confessed to me under the stars.”

 

“Kaashi confessed? Really?” 

 

Next to Tetsurou, Akaashi sighs. “Yes, is that really so surprising?” 

 

“Well, I mean—”

 

“Anyways, Bokuto,” Akaashi says, almost a little too biting. “We just wanted to let you know.”

 

There’s a thick silence and Tetsurou is suffocating. Bokuto’s eyes are searching, but then the gold turns gleaming and shimmering and Tetsurou almost whimpers. Bokuto is so beautiful it hurts. 

 

“If you’re both happy, I’m happy! My two best friends!” Bokuto laughs, throws an arm around them both, forcing a group hug. “But also if either of you hurts the other, I’ll kill you.”   

 

Tetsurou inhales deeply. As always, Bokuto smells like firewood with a slight floral undertone from his detergent. An odd mix, but completely intoxicating. It reminds him of late nights filled with talks about everything, about their aspirations, about their high school days, about the stupidest things their brains could come up with. It reminds him of falling asleep on Bokuto’s shoulder and waking up warm and content. 

 

It reminds Tetsurou that the rejection is still an open wound. 

 

They pull away, chat aimlessly for a little longer, but then Akaashi is shooting Tetsurou a look that begs to leave. It’s weird, and Tetsurou even tilts his head to the side. Akaashi’s anxiety around Bokuto’s presence is strange. He chalks it up to the lie they’re telling, and smiles at Bokuto, places an arm on his shoulder. “Well, we should go. Got some studying to do.” 

 

“Studying, sure,” Bokuto laughs. 

 

When Bokuto slaps Akaashi’s back, a trademark move, Akaashi actually loses his balance and stumbles. Tetsurou, having seen it before Bokuto, reacts first, reaching out and grabbing Akaashi by the hand. He pulls Akaashi towards him, and they end up with their chests almost touching, Tetsurou hovering over Akaashi as the latter balances vicariously, almost looking like Tetsurou dipped him for a dance move.

 

Akaashi’s face is the most brilliant shade of pink as Tetsurou steadies him, avoiding Tetsurou’s gaze. “Thanks,” he says, voice small. 

 

“You’re really laying it on thick, huh?” Tetsurou whispers in his ear before letting go, chuckling. 

 

Akaashi says nothing, turning away to reassure Bokuto that he's fine. 

 

They manage to slip away without further casualties. Tetsurou waits, watching Akaashi from the corner of his eye as they walk, seeing how Akaashi fiddles with his fingers and bounces his gaze around. Once they’re clear of the building, he sighs. “What’s wrong?” 

 

Akaashi doesn’t even have the decency to jump. “What makes you think something is wrong?” 

 

“You wanted to leave Bo’s.” 

 

“And?”

 

“You sleep there more than your own place.” 

 

Akaashi’s fingers stop fidgeting, but he still doesn’t look over at Tetsurou. The silence is a beat too long. “Lying to him made me uncomfortable.” 

 

“I know, but,” he lets out a big breath, snatching one of Akaashi’s hands, “it’s for the greater good. And stop doing that to your fingers.”

 

This, finally, makes Akaashi look over. First at their hands, hanging between them, not laced, but still connected. Then, his gaze rests on Tetsurou’s face, smooth and blank as always, but those teal eyes hold a touch of panic.  

 

“Right,” he breathes, looking at their hands again, before staring forward. 

 

“It’ll be over before he ever knows.” 

*

 

Tetsurou’s thumbs hover over his phone screen. 

 

He types a couple words, erases them, over and over before eventually just telling him to come over. Sighing, Tetsurou tosses his phone onto the couch. This is ridiculous, he thinks. He tells Kozume everything. Talking to Kozume is the most natural thing in the world to him, and yet… 

 

Probably because it’s all a lie. 

 

Three knocks on his door, short and sharp. Tetsurou throws it open before groaning and slumping onto his couch. A few seconds later, Akaashi does the exact same thing and Tetsurou chuckles. “Long day?” 

 

“It’s only two.” A pause. “Yes.”

 

“I feel ya.” Tetsurou sits up, looking over at Akaashi, watching how he pinches the bridge of his nose, leg bouncing. “What happened?” 

 

A sigh, one eye of slated steel peering at Tetsurou, and then, “Aki knows it’s a lie.” 

 

“You told him?” 

 

“No. He just… knew.”

 

“How?” 

 

Akaashi doesn’t say anything. Tetsurou looks at him, but Akaashi avoids his gaze, fingers tugging at each other. “He just… knows me.” 

 

Tetsurou gets the feeling Akaashi is hiding something from him, but decides not to push it. Besides, even after all these years, Tetsurou still can’t read Akaashi fully, not like Bokuto can, and certainly not as well as Konoha. Akaashi always seems to be hiding something, to be holding secrets in his chest, right beside his heart, so tightly he’ll never be able to let go of them. 

 

“Okay,” he says. “That’s fine, as long as he doesn’t tell anyone.” 

 

Biting his lip, Akaashi turns to Tetsurou, gives a minute nod. He looks small this way. Small and vulnerable, as if those feelings are threatening to burst at the seams. Tetsurou wonders if someday, they will spill out, overflow and drown Akaashi. 

 

“He won’t.” 

 

“Okay,” Tetsurou repeats. He stands up to make them some tea, making sure to grab the mint chamomile. Akaashi’s favorite. “Kenma’s coming over. Should be here any moment, actually.” 

 

“Have you told him?” 

 

“Not yet. Should be easier now that you’re here.” 

 

Akaashi doesn’t respond. It’s a comfortable few minutes. No one says anything; Akaashi scrolls through his phone on the couch as Tetsurou adds teabags and honey to mugs as the kettle starts whistling. It’s quiet, but it’s comfortable and homey.

 

The door softly clicks open. Kozume walks in, face on his game screen, toes off his shoes and makes it all the way to the couch before he notices Akaashi. 

 

“Oh,” he says, “hey, Keiji. Long time no see.”

 

Tetsurou takes a deep breath before grabbing the mugs, smiling wide, and sweeping into the living room. “You better get used to it, since he's my boyfriend now.”

 

Kozume doesn't respond. He just stares at Tetsurou, those eyes sharp as ever, then at Akaashi, and then back down to his screen. “Sure. Congratulations.”

 

But it's mumbled and Tetsurou is sure he doesn't buy it.

 

“You know,” Akaashi says, probably also sensing the lack of sincerity, “we haven't been able to have a match in a while, Kozume.”

 

“You mean I haven’t kicked your ass in a while.” 

 

“Try me.” 

 

Somehow, Tetsurou gets roped into setting up the console and game for the two of them as they bicker. He doesn’t mind, too much. It reminds him a bit of high school, though Bokuto is missing from the current scene.  _ Bokuto…  _ with those loud cackles and  _ hey _ ’s, golden eyes dancing with laughter… 

 

Tetsurou shakes his head and pushes the thought away. Soon enough, Akaashi and Kozume are at each other’s throats. Honestly, it’s some of the best entertainment Tetsurou has had in weeks. 

 

“Where the hell did that come from?” 

 

“You piece of shit!” 

 

“Ass fucker.” 

 

“Bitch dick.” 

 

Tetsruou all but dies. “Akaashi, did you just say  _ bitch dick? _ ”

 

“And what if I did, pain in the ass?” 

 

“I’m hurt, truly.” 

 

“By your own pain in the ass? Man up, Kuro.”

 

“I’m never allowing you two to be together again.” 

 

The next few hours are filled with laughter, cursing, dumb stories, and insults. It’s the lightest Tetsurou has felt in a while. 

 

*

 

_ Just now: new message from Kenma  _

 

__ i know youre not over koutarou but its nice to see you trying to move on. just dont hurt keiji in the process. 

 

*****

 

“Nope, try again.” 

 

Huffing, Akaashi looks to the side with a pout on his lips. They’re at Tetsurou's apartment, text and notebooks spread on the table between them along with far too many packets of instant coffee. Finals are next week which brings insanity to them both. For Tetsurou, who is planning to graduate in architecture this year, the tests mean everything, coupled with starting his thesis. He thought nothing could be worse, but then Akaashi… Akaashi who is too smart for his own good, who is majoring in both accounting and business, has far surpassed Tetsurou in craziness. 

 

“This isn’t what I need to be focusing on right now.” 

 

“Oh, come on,  _ Keiji,”  _ Tetsurou chuckles, “a break from studying is good! Besides, we need to get this down before seeing anyone.” 

 

Akaashi’s cheeks are dusted pink from the warm caffeine, but he turns back. Eyes trail over Tetsurou’s face, his nose wrinkling, brows scrunching, lips pursed. Tetsurou would laugh at the look of serious concentration, but he knows doing so would destroy whatever remains of Akaashi’s patience. 

 

“Ku—” Akaashi twists his face, sighs. “Tetsu...rou…san.”   

 

“So close, Keiji, try again.” 

 

Shifting in his seat, Akaashi pulls at his fingers, pouts again as the pink reaches his ears and Tetsurou can no longer blame it on the caffeine. Sharing first names is intimate, after all, even for friends. “I know you can do it, Keiji. You call Konoha by Aki.” 

 

“Yes, but I’ve known him since I was four.” A sigh, and then Akaashi straightens. “Tetsurou.”

 

A fuzzy warmth spreads through Tetsurou’s veins, fast and fleeting, and he smiles. “See now, that wasn't so bad, was it?”

 

Akaashi scowls, but it's soft with the blush. “No, not bad,” he pauses, face morphing into a smirk. “Horrible.”

 

“Rude, Keiji!” Tetsurou puts a hand on his chest but can't keep his lips turned down. “If you think this is bad, you're, uh, not gonna like what else I have planned.”

 

“What's that?”

 

“Well, we should, um,” Tetsurou can feel his face get hot, his palms sweaty, “practice kissing?” It's all fake, all for show, and Tetsurou has done it and more with many before, but this somehow feels like crossing some sort of line. Besides, other than Bokuto, Akaashi is the most attractive person Tetsurou has ever met. Kissing him is some sort of fever dream that should never come true.

 

Akaashi looks like he choked on something sour. “Why?”

 

“Well we can't have our first time be in front of somebody! It would be too obvious.” 

 

Akaashi's hands dig into his knees and he sits rigid, avoiding Tetsurou's gaze again. “That’s… a good point, I suppose.” 

 

“Yeah, so…” Tetsurou trails off, swallows thickly, any confidence slowly fading as he sees how nervous Akaashi is. Taking a deep breath, he stands up, watching how Akaashi’s eyes trail him, how Akaashi goes from completely still, to bouncing knees and fiddling fingers. 

 

“It’ll be fine,” Tetsurou all but whispers, sitting and reaching out. Akaashi’s face blooms red this time, but he doesn’t back away, and so Tetsurou brushes his cheek. 

 

“Yeah,” Akaashi’s voice is barely audible, his adam's apple bobbing. 

 

Those teal eyes are bright right now, anxious but shining with anticipation. The skin of his face is as soft as Tetsurou ever imagined. Never having been so close, Tetsurou can truly admire Akaashi now, the effortless beauty with porcelain skin, gentle angles, raven curls that look as smooth as feathers, cherry lips slightly parted, warm breath ghosting over Tetsurou’s face. The scent of Akaashi also washes over him, a mixture of paper and pine, soothing and rich. 

 

Tetsurou licks his lips, subconsciously looking at Akaashi’s mouth before his eyes. “Ready?”  

 

A nervous chuckle. “No.” And then a sigh, eyes slipping closed. “Yes.” 

 

Tetsurou turns his hand over, placing his palm on Akaashi’s cheek. He pulls at Akaashi’s jaw gently, guiding him over, closing his own eyes before he can lose all of his nerve and then—  

 

It’s warm. Warm and gentle, and not overwhelming but still all consuming. Akaashi’s lips shake at first, but then they press into Tetsurou, fitting against him easily, and they move together, a dance they’ve done many times with others and can adjust to match their needs. 

 

Tetsurou had almost forgotten how nice it is to be kissed.

 

Akaashi pulls away first, the back of his hand quickly covering his mouth, entire face red and eyes staring at a fixed point about two inches to the right of Tetsurou. 

 

Tetsurou smiles and leans back, removes all contact from Akaashi. “See, wasn’t that kind of nice?” In all honesty, it’s a good thing Akaashi stopped them, because Tetsurou has a knack for taking things too far. In every aspect of his life. 

 

Nodding, Akaashi seems to center himself. His hand falls, head turning to Tetsurou, expression blank again, eyes darkened and cool. “For all your bragging, you're not as good a kisser as I expected.”

 

Tetsurou knows Akaashi is lying. Not only because of the whispered confessions from others, but in the way Akaashi’s lips tug upwards, in the breathlessness of his voice. He also now knows that Akaashi is a good kisser. A really great kisser, in fact, but Akaashi doesn’t need to know that. Because another indisputable fact here is that Akaashi Keiji is an asshole. 

 

Tetsurou puts a palm on either side of Akaashi, leans in close, noses almost touching. “Say that again, Keiji,” he whispers across Akaashi’s face. “I dare you.” 

 

Akaashi’s eyes are wide, but he recovers quickly, smirking, pressing a finger to Tetsurou’s lips and pushing him away. “Try again when you’ve improved, Tetsurou.” 

 

“Then maybe we should practice more.” 

 

Snorting, Akaashi turns away, facing the table properly again. “No, I think we should probably study more.” 

 

*

 

This last paper Tetsurou has to write might kill him.

 

Sighing, he places a last book in his arms. He never thought he’d dislike books, but this is a bit ridiculous. He turns to the checkout stand and bumps into someone. 

 

“Oh, sorry—Akaashi?” 

 

The younger man steadies himself, looks up at Tetsurou and blinks. “Ah, Ku—Tetsurou. Um, hi.” 

 

Tetsurou watches Akaashi’s eyes flit around, his fingers folding into each other. “Hey, Keiji, fancy meeting you here.”     

 

For once, Akaashi doesn’t fire back with a sarcastic quip. Instead, he shifts his weight and avoids Tetsurou’s eye. “Yeah. Sure.” 

 

They haven’t seen each other, or texted much, even, since their last study session. And that had ended up with more kissing than studying, if Tetsurou were being honest. But it hadn’t exactly ended great. What with the awkward and rushed attempt at a goodbye hug from Tetsurou that was met with Akaashi reaching to pat his shoulder ending in them staring, struggling for words, until Akaashi bowed and left. 

 

A mess, really. 

 

So now here they are. Tetsurou isn’t sure what to do. He just wants things to go back to how they were. And, with the panic and lack of sleep, Tetsurou’s brain supplies him with only one solution. 

 

He leans in, presses a peck to Akaashi’s lips, stays close when he says, “It’s nice to see you.” 

 

Akaashi’s face blossoms red and he takes a step back. “Uh, yeah. I… missed you.” 

 

Something about that makes Tetsurou’s heart skip a beat and he realizes what he’s done. “Oh, sorry. I shouldn’t have done that without saying anything.” 

 

A smirk fights its way up Akaashi’s mouth. “Did you just try to fix an awkward moment with a kiss?” 

 

“I—wha—no—”

 

“Oh, Tetsurou,” Akaashi says, a laugh caught in his voice, “you might be the most hopeless person I’ve ever met.” 

 

“Wow, Keiji, that hurts.” 

 

“There’s probably something for that.”      

 

“Like a kiss?” 

 

“Keep dreaming.” 

 

Tetsurou laughs, feeling full and light. They’re going to be just fine.   

 

*

 

Saturday night, Bokuto texted Tetsurou, claiming to have setup the perfect date for Tetsurou and Akaashi. 

 

Naturally, Tetsurou is skeptical. 

 

Sunday at a bit past noon, there’s a knock at his door. Tetsurou swings it open, surprised to find not only Akaashi, but also Bokuto, an arm around Akaashi, beaming wide. Akaashi looks disgruntled, still tired, but he’s wearing what they all dubbed his date pants: black skinny jeans with tears in one knee, a frayed rip on the opposite thigh. The shirt is loosely fitted, green, and makes his eyes look like emeralds.

 

Honestly, Tetsurou thinks, as his eyes trail up Akaashi, locking eyes with him and feeling... _ something,  _ he should have picked someone less attractive to be his fake boyfriend. 

 

“Hey, hey, hey!” Bokuto says, a hand slamming on to Tetsurou’s shoulder. “Are you ready? It starts soon.” 

 

“And what, exactly, is it?” 

 

“You’ll see!” 

 

A sigh from Akaashi, making it clear that Bokuto has been saying that all day. He slides out of Bokuto’s grip and moves to Tetsurou’s side. Close enough that Tetsurou can feel his heat, but far enough that their shoulders don’t touch. “Bokuto is so excited, he’s offered to see us off.”  

 

“How nice of you, bro!” Tetsurou hopes his smile is convincing, though his heart squeezes at those shimmering eyes, that smile full of teeth and good intentions. Bokuto’s hair is down today too, and it is definitely not good for Tetsurou. He steels his nerves, wraps an arm around Akaashi’s shoulders, and places a featherlight kiss to his curls. “I just gotta change real quick, I’ll be right back.” 

 

Akaashi’s hand reaches out when Tetsurou turns away, ghosting over his skin. “Okay. Don’t take too long.” 

 

His voice is soft and Tetsurou gives him a little grin before heading down the hall. 

 

Forty minutes later and Bokuto has given them two tickets and disappeared and Tetsurou and Akaashi find themselves in a very small cooking class. Akaashi groans and Tetsurou has to use all his willpower to not double over laughing. Sometimes, Bokuto has brilliant ideas, but sometimes, he’s just an idiot. 

 

“I’m going to kill him,” Akaashi says. 

 

“Ah, come on, Keiji. It’ll be fun!” 

 

Akaashi turns a glare on him, but he just snorts as the teacher comes up to explain what they’ll be making. 

 

It’s a simple enough meal. Tetsurou is even excited. Between school and part time work, he doesn’t get the chance to cook very often anymore, and he really does miss it. Akaashi, on the other hand, is glaring at the ingredients like they personally offended his cat. 

 

“Come on, Keiji, we can do it together. I’ll help you.”

 

Sighing, Akaashi relents and turns to Tetsurou. “Yes, senpai, please teach me,” he says, totally deadpan.

 

Tetsurou lets out a bark of a laugh. “Don't say that!”

 

Akaashi smirks. “Okay, okay, what do I do, Ku— Tetsurou.”

 

“Well,” Tetsurou picks up a stalk of celery, spins it in the air once before turning to Akaashi with a grin. “This is one of the easier things to chop up. Try it.”

 

Akaashi picks up the knife and even his grip is bad. “No, no,” Tetsurou says, swooping over behind Akaashi, grabbing his hand to reposition it. “Like this, see? And then you wanna curl your fingers on the celery...yeah, like that.”

 

Akaashi lifts to cut, his eyebrows pinched together, but Tetsurou almost screams. “No! Don't lift the blade all the way. Rock the tip of it on the board. Like this.”

 

Tetsurou lays one hand on Akaashi's elbow, the other on his wrist, guiding him through the movements. It's awkward at first, but eventually, Akaashi calms down, can even cut it properly when Tetsurou slowly pulls away, fingers lingering on Akaashi's skin.

 

Akaashi turns to Tetsurou, lips slightly parted, a flush from the tip of his ears, his cheekbones, across the bridge of his nose, accenting his light freckles.

 

“I did it.”

 

He sounds so astonished, that Tetsurou can't help but laugh. “That was just celery, Keiji. Don't get too excited.”

 

Akaashi bumps him with his shoulder. “Shut up and teach me more.”

 

Somehow, about halfway through prepping ingredients, it goes downhill. Tetsurou accidentally splashes sauce on Akaashi, who turns and narrows his eyes, but ultimately moves on. Tetsurou, though, loves to rile up Akaashi—  

 

—and so he throws sesame seeds in his curls. 

 

Akaashi glares, is about to turn away, but Tetsurou clicks his tongue. He sets his palm on the table, leans on it and gets right in Akaashi’s personal space, feeling one side of his mouth quirk up, feeling the mischievous glint in his eyes as he asks, “what’s wrong, Keiji? Can’t handle a little mess?” 

 

Ten minutes later and they find themselves outside, banned from any future cooking classes. They look at each other, and then more laughter erupts from them, faces red, completely breathless. Tetsurou leans on Akaashi’s shoulder. “I can’t believe we got kicked out.” 

 

Akaashi snorts, a rare indicator of a full laugh. “I can't believe  _ you got us _ kicked out.”

 

Letting out an indignant sound, Tetsurou slings an arm around his shoulders. “You can't blame the whole thing on me.”

 

Akaashi's eyes swim with amusement. “Can't I?”

 

Tetsurou laughs, tightens his arm around Akaashi's shoulders so that their cheeks press together. “You liked it.”

 

Akaashi shrugs him off, face dusted with pink. “So where are we going now?”

 

“What?”

 

Akaashi raises a brow. “Our date fell through, but surely you have a back up plan.”

 

It's not a question, and Akaashi looks so smugly expectant that Tetsurou wants to punch him. The fact that Akaashi assumes he has another plan, and the fact that  _ he's right,  _ pisses Tetsurou off. He's not supposed to be so see through.

 

“After all,” Akaashi says, looking forward with a grin, “when Bokuto is involved, a back up plan is often needed.”

 

The sentence is said with such a gentle fondness that any annoyance fades. Tetsurou grins, too, thinks of Bokuto’s honest and open face, always so eager to please. His heart clenches.

 

“Yeah, you're right,” he sighs. “Come on.” 

 

“Oh? Where are we going?” 

 

Tetsurou grins, slides his arm around Akaashi’s waist, hesitates only briefly before pulling him into his side. “It’s a surprise.” 

~

Akaashi’s eyes are wide, lips parted, completely silent as he looks around. 

 

“Well?” Tetsurou says. 

 

Turning in a slow circle, Akaashi takes in the walls lined with bookcases, the stacks of books scattered about. It’s an old store, one that Tetsurou found on accident on a rainy afternoon running home. Since then, it’s become a quiet place he can come to when he needs. It smells like old paper and ink, a dash of sandalwood. The books are older, less popular than in chain stores, but the owner and workers care for them, somehow have in depth knowledge on all of the hundreds of books. 

 

Akaashi’s fingers ghost over titles, still silent, but face filled with wonder. 

 

“Oh, Kuroo!” A voice calls. “Welcome back.” 

 

“Good afternoon, Sawamura.”

 

“Been awhile.” He walks over, an easy smile on his face, chocolate eyes lit up. “Who’s this?” 

 

“Ah, this is my fr—boyfriend, Keiji.” At this, Akaashi finally turns towards him, tilting his head to the side. “Akaashi Keiji.” 

 

“Boyfriend?” Sawamura laughs. “Well, I’ll be damned. Someone can actually put up with you?” 

 

Tetsurou places a hand on his chest just as Akaashi steps beside him. “I’m hurt, 

Sawamura, truly.”   

 

“Sawamura Daichi,” he says to Akaashi, both ignoring Tetsurou completely. “You’re a brave soul.” 

 

Akaashi looks at Tetsurou from the corner of his eye. “Brave or stupid?” 

 

__ _ “Hey!”  _

 

__ “Is this your shop?” Akaashi asks, again forgetting Tetsurou’s existence. 

 

“Ah, no. Not yet, at least. It’s my father’s.” 

 

Tetsurou watches the two of them walk around, talking about the store, the books, all the stories within. Akaashi gives genuine smiles. His eyes are bright, hands trailing over books, all but jumping in excitement, almost shaking. Tetsurou grins at the sight, as rare as it is adorable. 

 

Akaashi picks out a few books, bounding back to Tetsurou. “This place is amazing!” His cheeks are slightly flushed, the teal in his eyes shining. “I’m going to buy these, and then—”

 

“I’ll buy them,” Tetsurou says, surprising even himself. “This is a date, after all. And then we can offer to take Sawamura to eat with us, so you two can talk about books.” 

 

“Are you sure?” 

 

“Yes.”

 

Akaashi smiles wide, stands on his toes, places a kiss to the corner of Tetsurou’s mouth, catching him off guard. “Thank you, Tetsurou. This is the best date I’ve ever been on.” 

 

Tetsurou’s heart skips a beat. “It’s just a bookstore, Keiji.” 

 

“You mean heaven.” 

 

Laughing, Tetsurou leads Akaashi up front, feeling something tingly and warm in his limbs. 

 

* 

 

“So,” Bokuto says around a bite of lunch, “how’re things with Kaashi?” 

 

Tetsurou isn’t sure how to respond. The last date had ended with Tetsurou walking Akaashi home, with lots of laughter, a soft kiss from Akaashi, hands lingering together longer than necessary. 

 

Something has shifted, but Tetsurou can’t pinpoint it. 

 

But Bokuto is looking at him with bright eyes, knee jiggling under the table, mustard stuck to his cheek. It’s so endearingly Bokuto that Tetsurou, despite how different he has felt about Bokuto lately, feels his heart squeeze. 

 

“It’s good,” he finally settles on. 

 

Bokuto snorts. “You’re dating one of the best looking and awesome guys and it’s just ‘good’, not great? Not amazing? Just good?” 

 

Rolling his eyes, Tetsurou hopes his nervous laugh passes as a scoff. “What do you want me to say, Bo? You want all the gross and sappy details?” 

 

“Yes.”

 

“You’re ridiculous.” 

 

Bokuto laughs, leans back in his chair. “I have to live vicariously through you.” 

 

“I’m surprised you know such a big word.” 

 

“Hey, rude!”

 

This time, Tetsurou laughs loud and real. He’s missed this. How natural it is to be around Bokuto, how easily their conversation flows. He’s missed the comfort of Bokuto’s company. 

 

Across the cafeteria, Tetsurou spies Akaashi. He’s wearing jeans and a loose shirt, looking like he rolled out of bed not even ten minutes ago. Tetsurou wouldn’t be surprised. Akaashi meets his stare, raises a brow and grins. Tetsurou waves him over, Bokuto following his gaze and grinning.

 

Tetsurou has missed Bokuto’s attention, but Tetsurou doesn’t think he  _ craves  _ it anymore.

*

 

Akaashi is sap. 

 

Tetsurou knows this, has known this for years, but even still, this is something else entirely. The champagne from dinner makes his head light, makes giggles spill from his lips, but it all stops as he looks around. There are no words to describe how Tetsurou feels right now. Something like awe and appreciation and joy and—  

 

Akaashi squeezes his hand. “Tetsurou?” 

 

“Keiji,” he breathes, “this is amazing.”

 

Akaashi bites his lip, shifts his eyes around. Tetsurou can feel the nerves in between their joined fingers. The alcohol has tinted Akaashi’s cheeks pink, left the teal eyes a little glazed over, but helps a grin work its way up his face. “I thought you might like it.” 

 

“It’s perfect. How did you find this place?” 

 

Humming, Akaashi pulls Tetsurou forward. They’re in an architecture museum, surrounded by old blueprints, scale models, pieces of old buildings that Tetsurou has studied. How did Tetsurou not know that this place existed? And only a train ride away. 

 

“I did some research.” He glances at Tetsurou, eyes glinting, smile so soft and sincere that Tetsurou gulps. 

 

“You… researched this? For me?” 

 

Akaashi’s cheeks burn, turn deep red. “Of course I did.” 

 

Speechless. Tetsurou is speechless. He follows Akaashi up and down stairs, tells Akaashi all about everything they see, takes picture after picture after picture. Including one with the both of them, flushed and grinning in front of the original blueprint for the Taj Mahal.

 

Tetsurou is drunk on champagne and happiness and, when the kind stranger hands his phone back and he looks at the picture of them, Tetsurou can’t help it. He grabs Akaashi behind his neck and kisses him. 

 

He feels Akaashi suck in a breath before his lips become pliant against Tetsurou’s, melting into the kiss and moving with him. It’s a slow dance at first, but then Akaashi pushes deeper, slipping his tongue into Tetsurou’s mouth.

 

Panting, Tetsurou pulls away, puts his forehead against Akaashi’s. “We should leave.” 

 

Akaashi must hear the hunger in Tetsurou’s voice, because he nods eagerly, grabs Tetsurou’s hand, and drags them out the door. 

~

The door to their hotel room closes and Akaashi pushes Tetsurou into it. 

 

Akaashi’s hands roam over him, hungry, desperate. His kisses are hot, open mouthed, his teeth grazing down Tetsurou’s neck, his collarbone. Tetsurou has never been taken control of like this before, has never been so at the mercy of someone else. Usually he’s the one taking charge and demanding. 

 

Not that he’s complaining. 

 

Akaashi’s teeth graze over a sensitive patch of skin and Tetsurou hisses, clenching his hands in Akaashi’s curls, pulling him even closer. He feels Akaashi smile against him, sucking and nibbling, a bruise blossoming, and Tetsurou lets out a low moan. Akaashi pulls back, smirking, opens his mouth to say something, but Tetsurou dives in. He kisses Akaashi until neither of them can breathe, moves them towards the bed, never letting their skin completely break contact, never letting either of their lips escape. He pulls off Akaashi’s shirt, runs his hands down his chest. Akaashi shivers and Tetsurou takes that as an invitation, latching his mouth to Akaashi’s collarbone, his pecs, teases at a nipple before placing featherlight kisses down his stomach. 

 

_ “Fuck,”  _ Akaashi moans. He pulls at Tetsurou, lifts his shirt away, and then pushes Tetsurou onto the bed, straddling him. “Don’t tease me, Tetsurou. I’m not here just to play.” 

 

Heat pools in Tetsurou’s gut. Akaashi’s face is flushed, curls in utter disarray, lips swollen and bitten and red, marks making a trail from his jaw to his shoulders. Akaashi’s eyes are almost all pupil, steel around the edges, insatiable. 

 

A whole new kind of beautiful. 

 

“Then by all means, Keiji,” he all but growls, thrusting his hips upwards, “show me what you’re here for.” 

 

**Spoiler alert: they break rule number three.**

 

*

 

“Well, we have to keep appearances—”

 

Akaashi throws his hands up in the air. “Is that really all you're worried about? This isn't even a real relationship, Tetsurou. This is all fake. Maybe this is a sign that we pushed too far and should give it up.”

 

Panic surges through Tetsurou and he rushes forward, grabs Akaashi's hand. “Is that what you want?”

 

Akaashi's mouth opens, but no words come out. He glances down at their hands, back at Tetsurou's face, and then he purses his lips and looks away. “I'd rather have an actual relationship,” he says.

 

It's so quiet that Tetsurou isn't sure he heard right. “What?”

 

“Nothing.” Akaashi sighs, sits on the edge of the bed. “It's fine. We can just pretend nothing happened.” 

 

They have to check out of the hotel in twenty minutes. They have to go back home and act like they have been, as if nothing has changed. Tetsurou isn't sure why, but the thought makes him feel  _ wrong.  _

 

He doesn't even think, just leans down, cups Akaashi's cheeks, and kisses him.

 

Akaashi doesn't hesitate in pulling Tetsurou down on top of him. 

 

*

 

**The next few weeks aren’t very exciting. They take their finals, go separate ways to visit family, sleep together more, go on dinner dates, and start the new semester. Blah, blah, blah. They’re dumb and it’s about to catch up with them…**

 

“Kuro,” Kozume says. 

 

Tetsurou hums into his mug. This particular blend of chai is spicy, a rich and biting flavor. It makes him think of Akaashi. 

 

“When are you going to stop lying to everyone?” 

 

Tetsurou almost chokes, sets the mug down. Kozume’s eyes are narrowed, suspicious but also concerned. It’s a look he doesn’t wear often, and Tetsurou is immediately alert. “What do you mean?” 

 

“I mean with Keiji.” 

 

Every nerve in Tetsurou’s body tingles. “I...dunno, Kenma.” 

 

Sighing, Kozume locks the screen on his phone, turns it over to avoid any distraction. “Don’t know what?” 

 

Tetsurou lets out a big breath, runs his fingers through his hair, looks away. “It’s just...comfortable? We have a lot of fun together.” He pauses. “And I don’t think about Bo very often anymore. At least, not more than a friend should.” 

 

Kozume stares for a long time, analyzing and searching. Something crosses his face, something Tetsurou has never seen before, cannot figure out. Which is weird. Tetsurou knows everything about Kozume, can read Kozume better than anyone. 

 

“Well,” Kozume finally says, picking his phone back up. “Wasn’t that the entire point? Doesn’t that mean you’ve accomplished your mission or whatever?” 

 

Tetsurou’s throat goes dry. He licks his lips. “I guess so.” 

 

“So then it’s probably time to end it and  _ actually  _ move on.” 

 

*

 

Breaking up is never easy. 

 

Tetsurou has too much experience with it. But this isn’t even an actual relationship, so would this count as a breakup? He’s tried not to dwell on it too much, tried to look at it objectively. This situation is an arrangement that has run its course, a deal that has expire. Plain and simple. Still, he has a speech prepared. 

 

Unfortunately, when he spots Akaashi, sitting at a table by the window, chin in palm, wearing a loose v-neck, dark jeans, and reading glasses, every word of it disappears from his mind. Akaashi looks so content and Tetsurou doesn’t want to ruin that. Would it ruin it? Ending something fake leaves little room for pain, doesn’t it? It’s better if they go back to friends who don’t sleep together, wouldn’t it? So they can both find someone they actually want to be with? 

 

Akaashi notices him then, grins and raises cup to indicate that he’s already gotten Tetsurou’s drink, and Tetsurou suddenly has a hard time breathing. Clearing his throat, he crosses the cafe, places a kiss on Akaashi’s cheek, and sits down. 

 

Akaashi laughs. The bruise just under his jaw is glaringly obvious and Tetsurou has to force his gaze away from it. “You’ve become oddly affectionate lately.” 

 

Heat rises to Tetsurou's cheeks but he laughs it off. “Habit, I guess.” 

 

Akaashi hums. They sit in silence a bit, enjoying their tea, working through a bit of homework. Every now and then, Tetsurou looks up and catches Akaashi adjusting his glasses, tucking a curl behind his ear, or even looking at Tetsurou already, offering a small smile. And it’s just so natural and comfortable to be with him like this and Tetsurou doesn’t get it. 

 

“So—” They both start, and then laugh. Tetsurou gestures to Akaashi, whose lips curl upwards. “So, I was going to go look at kittens after this. Would you like to come with?” 

 

Tetsurou remembers, vaguely, Akaashi mentioning that he wanted to get a kitten last week. Though what Tetsurou remembers more are the kisses and touches after the statement was made and done with. He remembers the movie they watched that night, some of the dumb jokes they made and laughed at, the cool sheets against hot skin and—  

 

“Tetsu?”

He shakes his head, blinks. Akaashi is looking at him with furrowed brows, teal eyes a touch too soft. This is it. This is his chance. This is the perfect moment to bring everything to an end and go back to how they used to be. 

 

Tetsurou opens his mouth to deliver his speech, but what comes out instead is, “sure.” 

 

*

 

Tetsurou definitely missed his chance. 

 

He sits on Akaashi’s couch, watches Akaashi whip yarn around, laughing freely when the kitten trips over itself. Giggles bubble out of Akaashi’s chest whenever the kitten jumps in the air, twisting, and snatching the piece of yarn away. The kitten is all black with a white dot on its nose; Akaashi had held close to his own face at the pet store, gave Tetsurou a wide grin, and named her Oreo. 

 

Tetsurou may have taken a picture and he may have changed his phone wallpaper to it and it may have been the cutest thing he has ever seen. 

 

But this all means that Tetsurou missed his chance because how is one supposed to break up with someone when that someone is unusually giddy, playing with a kitten? 

 

Oreo slows down, staying grounded and pawing the air, before she stops and her eyes slip shut. Akaashi coos and scoops Oreo up, nuzzling his face against hers as he takes a seat next to Tetsurou. Tetsurou can hear her purr, sees Akaashi's content face, and his heart melts.

 

“Hey,” he says. “Come here.”

 

“Mmm, I am here.”

 

Rolling his eyes, Tetsurou holds his arms out. “I mean  _ here  _ here, smartass.”

 

“One second.” Akaashi gets up, lays Oreo down in her bed, kisses her on the head, and gives her stomach one more scratch before coming back over.

 

“Gods, who knew the 'ever stoic’ Akaashi Keiji could be so adorable.”

 

“Shut up,” Akaashi says with no heat, crawling into Tetsurou's arms.

 

Tetsurou smirks. “Make me.”

 

Akaashi huffs out a laugh, fingers parting around Tetsurou's face, trailing down until his pinky pulls at his bottom lip. 

 

Tetsurou knows it's a trap to get him to move first but, honestly, he doesn't care. He dives straight in. Akaashi doesn't even hesitate in opening his lips for Tetsurou, doesn't hesitate in letting himself be consumed. Tetsurou drags his teeth along Akaashi's bottom lip, pulling on it, and Akaashi shivers. It's then that Tetsurou learns that his own name has never tasted as good as when he licks it from Akaashi's mouth.

 

Akaashi claws at Tetsurou's back, pulls away for a moment to leave a biting trail along Tetsurou's jaw down to his collarbone, to suck and nibble at his ear. When Tetsurou lets out a low moan, Akaashi smiles and smashes their lips back together.

 

Tetsurou pushes further into the kiss, pressing Akaashi into the couch.

 

Akaashi makes a noise, something akin to a whimper, but then pulls away. “Tetsu,” he pants, “I need to tell you something.”

 

_ “Now?” _ He doesn't mean to hiss, but his blood is pumping and he does not take kindly to being interrupted in any way, for anything.

 

“Yes, it's important.” A heavy pause, Akaashi's eyes darting around before locking on Tetsurou's. “I think it's time to end this charade.”

 

Tetsurou dives back in, tastes the reluctance on Akaashi's lips. Tetsurou can feel the fire in the pit of his own stomach. Tetsurou is  _ hungry.  _

 

“Why not wait,” he pants between kisses, “just a little,” trails his lips down Akaashi's neck, “longer?” feels Akaashi shiver under him.

 

Fingers curl into Tetsurou's back, roam up to his hair, down his chest, back around his neck. Akaashi is beautiful like this: eyes more steel than teal and half closed, pupils blown wide, curls in complete and utter disarray. Clawing and desperate and needy. 

 

Breathless.

 

“Because,” Akaashi says around a moan, Tetsurou's mouth on his collarbone. “Tetsu, I actually really—”

 

A sudden panic crawls up Tetsurou's spine and so he swallows Akaashi's words,  swallows all his moans and thoughts and everything in his mouth with fervor. If Tetsurou allows Akaashi to finish his sentence, this will be over. Everything will be over. He isn't sure why it sets him off like this, why the thought of it being over makes his stomach drop. This all started as a lie. One that Tetsurou created. It has all been crafted in his own hands, bent into what he needed it to be. 

 

He can't just let it go so easily.

 

Akaashi quickly gives up on talking, allowing Tetsurou's tongue to explore his mouth, running his teeth over Tetsurou's bottom lip, his nails under Tetsurou's shirt, ghosting skin. 

 

This is something that should continue on forever.

 

The realization causes Tetsurou to jerk away, gasping. Akaashi looks at him, head tilted in confusion, lips red and swollen, eyes clearing ever so slightly.

 

“Tetsu?”

 

Tetsurou leans back, hand slipping from Akaashi's waist to cover his own mouth, face hot, eyes wide, just staring. Staring at Akaashi, the most beautiful person Tetsurou has ever seen. The most patient and kind and funny and—  

 

Tetsurou stands up, clears his throat. “Sorry. I just, uh, need water.” It sounds like a lame excuse, and Akaashi's look tells him that he agrees, but Tetsurou turns away regardless. “What was it you were gonna say?”

 

It's silent for a long time. Tetsurou grabs a glass, fills it, downs it and even has an internal battle to get his heart rate back to normal before Akaashi answers.

 

“Nothing. It doesn't matter.”

 

“Keiji,” Tetsurou strides back into the room, melding his expression into a gentle grin, “everything you say matters.”

 

Akaashi's lips part slightly and his eyes zone in on Tetsurou's, intense. Neither of them try to look away and Akaashi is just about to say something when a knock on the door causes them both to jump.

 

Clearing his throat, Akaashi stands up, straightens his shirt. “I'll get it,” he sighs and ruffles his hair.

 

Akaashi reaches forward but the door flies open just before he touches it. He blinks at the visitor. “Bokuto? What—”

 

“You lied to me,” Bokuto hisses. The door soams behind him and his eyes find Tetsurou. Burning gold. “You both fucking  _ lied  _ to me.”  

 

Tetsurou feels like he’s been punched straight in the lungs. From the corner of his eye, he can see Akaashi go rigid, fingers curling into his legs. Tetsurou shakes his head, tries to put on his best confused face. “What are you talking about, Bo?” 

 

“ _ Don’t.”  _

 

Akaashi’s face flinches and he backs up, almost within reach of Tetsurou. There’s static in the air, about to crack. Tetsurou can feel it in every nerve of his body, seconds from catching on fire. 

 

“You two have been lying about your entire relationship.” 

 

A slap to the face. “Bo, listen—”

 

“No, you listen! I thought—” Bokuto runs his hands through his hair. “I thought I could just you guys. We’re friends. Why would you lie to me?” 

 

“We just didn’t want to see you sad over my rejection anymore.”    

 

“So you  _ lied?”  _

 

Akaashi reaches a hand out as if to touch Bokuto’s arm, but lets it fall. “Bokuto, please…” 

 

“That’s not what you called me when we were fucking,  _ Keiji. _ ” 

 

“ _ Bokuto.”  _

 

Tetsurou’s head snaps over to Akaashi. Everything is hazy, he can’t breathe, almost can’t hear. “Excuse me?” 

 

“Oh, you never told him?” 

 

“Bokuto, stop. Tetsu, listen—”

 

“Don’t call me that,” Tetsurou hisses. He falls back onto the couch, hard. His hands grip at his hair. “What the  _ fuck,  _ Akaashi?”

 

Something broken flashes over Akaashi’s face, but Tetsurou doesn’t care. The guilt is right there, fueling the white hot anger building in his gut. 

 

“Tets—Kuroo-san, please listen to me.” 

 

“Yes, Kuroo, listen to Akaashi tell you about how he came over almost every night until he told me he couldn’t anymore. All for a lie!”     

 

“Bokuto,” Akaashi hisses. “Stop it. It was all your—”

 

“Is this a game to you?” Tetsurou finally says, standing and looking Akaashi straight in the eye. 

 

Akaashi’s eyes harden, pure steel. “And what about you? Did you ever, even once, consider my feelings? Did it ever cross your mind that asking me to pretend to be your boyfriend might  _ hurt?”  _

 

“Your feelings? Clearly you were still hung up on Bo.” 

 

Bokuto laughs again, but it’s hollow, cold. “Oh, he didn’t tell you that either, did he?” 

 

“Bokuto,” Akaashi says, still glaring at Tetsurou. “Get the fuck out.”   

 

“Excuse me?” 

 

“I said get the fuck out of my apartment.” There are tears welling in his eyes, his hands shaking at his sides. 

 

Tetsurou doesn’t dare even breath until Bokuto finally huffs, slams the door, and the two of them are alone again. “What else have you not told me?” 

 

Akaashi tears his gaze away. “It doesn’t matter. You wouldn’t believe me.” 

 

“What is it?” 

 

“Nothing! Please, just… leave.” 

 

Tetsurou reaches forward, grabs Akaashi’s arm a little too hard. “Akaashi.”

 

The first tear escapes his eye, rolling down a red cheek. Akaashi takes a shaky breath, pulls his arm away. “I like you, okay? I have for a while, but you’ve been in love with Bokuto for so long that I—” Akaashi stops, laughs breathlessly, wipes his nose. “I should have never agreed to fake date you. I knew I’d get too into it, give myself some false sense of hope. And look at us now.” 

 

Tetsurou feels something melt, just slightly, but the anger prevails. His voice shakes when he says, “if you loved me, you wouldn’t have fucked Bo behind my back like that. You’re nothing but a liar, Akaashi.” 

 

And then he leaves, the outside world shielding him from Akaashi’s sobbing scream of his name. 

 

*

 

Tetsurou hasn't slept in a week.

 

Bokuto isn't speaking to him, even sitting across the room in their shared class. He hasn't even caught sight of Akaashi anywhere. No messages on his phone, no calls, no plans, no body pressed against his and making snide jokes at the movie playing on the television. 

 

Kozume was here yesterday. 

 

_ “So, what you're saying is that everyone fucked up?” _

 

_ “It's a mess, Kenma. I don't know what to do.” _

 

_ “Figure out the truth,” Kozume said, as if it's the most simple thing in the world. “There's probably a reason Keiji and Koutarou were sleeping together. And you,” those sharp eyes bored into Tetsurou, far too knowing, “need to get your own feelings straightened out.” _

 

_ “There's nothing straight about them.” _

 

_ “Dumbass, you're feeling better already.” _

 

Tetsurou is, but only a little bit. His head has cooled and the anger has simmered down into a bitter mix of guilt, exhaustion, and loneliness. The loneliness is something very new to him. For the first time in years, Kozume's company and messages aren't enough, and he can't turn to even Bokuto. And besides, there's a certain coldness between his fingers, at his side, on his lips. A certain aching emptiness that only one person can now fill.

 

Tetsurou sighs, thumb hovering over that person’s name in his phone. Groaning, he throws his phone to the side, covers his face. “Pathetic,” he mutters. 

 

A knock on the door causes him to jump. Nerves and hope and uncertainty surge through his veins. He shakes as he goes to the door, takes a trembling breath, and then opens it. 

 

A very annoyed Oikawa Tooru greets him and everything all feelings are replaced with dread. 

 

“Well?” Oikawa says, eyebrow raised, arms crossed.

 

“You’d come in even if I didn’t invite you.” 

 

“Only because I have every right to,” Oikawa says, brushing past Tetsurou and sitting on his couch. 

 

The headache that Tetsurou has felt all week begins to throb more. There are specific times when Tetsurou can deal with Oikawa, and this is not one of them. Especially when Oikawa is looking at him as if he expects Tetsurou to eat the dirt off of his own feet. 

 

“What right?” 

 

“Well, aren’t you feeling prickly today.” Oikawa crosses his legs, eyes becoming even sharper. “You’re an asshole and you need to apologize for it.” 

 

Tetsurou chokes on a surprised laugh. “Says you.” 

 

“We can talk about me later. Right now, I’m going to make you march your sorry ass to my apartment and apologize to Bokkun.” Tetsurou says nothing, feels something clench around his throat. “He’s been moping for a week now. He hasn’t even been going on his morning runs. You both fucked up and you need to have a real conversation.” 

 

Tetsurou hates this. If Oikawa is making sense, saying all the things Tetsurou already knows, then things are bad.  _ Very bad.  _

 

“Yeah,” Tetsurou manages, voice tight. “You’re right.” 

 

“Say that again.” 

 

“Get the fuck out.” 

 

Oikawa stands, places a hand on Tetsurou’s shoulder. “Fine. But when I get home, Bokkun better be in a better mood.” 

 

*

 

Bokuto opens the door and immediately pulls Tetsurou into a tight hug. 

 

“Tetsu, I’m so sorry! I’m so, so, so sorry!” 

 

“Bo, I can’t breathe.” 

 

“Sorry!” Bokuto pulls away and Tetsurou’s stomach drops. His hair is floppy and greasy, eyes dull and burdened by heavy bags. He wears old ratty clothes and Tetsurou almost wishes he couldn’t smell him. 

 

“It’s okay,” Tetsurou shifts his weight. “Can we talk?” 

 

“Please.” 

 

Tetsurou sits at the dining table, taps his fingers as Bokuto ramages around for some tea. The apartment is cleaner than Tetsurou expected, though he supposes that, with Oikawa as his roommate, even Bokuto can’t destroy the place. 

 

When Bokuto sets a mug in front of him, Tetsurou can’t help it. “I’m sorry,” he blurts. “I’m sorry I lied to you.” 

 

Bokuto purses his lips, slips into his chair. “I just don’t understand why.” 

 

“It’s… dumb,” Tetsurou laughs. “I’m dumb. I just… you were so sad for having to reject me and I wanted to move on and I thought that… pretending to have a boyfriend would make it seem like I had moved on and you’d be happy for me and it could be normal again.” 

 

Bokuto is silent for a moment, but then he snorts. “That doesn’t make sense.” 

 

Groaning, Tetsurou slumps. “I realize that.” A pause. “How did you find out anyway?” 

 

“Ah, well, I went to see if you wanted to hang out, but you were at Akaashi’s. Teru was home, though, so I hung out with him. And then I went to see if you still had that jacket of mine you borrowed—which you did, by the way—and I found your crumbled up list of rules.” 

 

Tetsurou blinks, chuckles. “I’m such a fucking idiot.” 

 

A silence falls over them. It’s more relaxed than before, but something still hovers 

there, something closing in on them. Tetsurou takes a long drag of the tea, mint chamomile, Akaashi’s favorite.

 

“So, you and Kei—Akaashi…” 

 

Bokuto sighs, slumps in his chair. “I rejected him too, Tetsu. I felt so awful doing so and, I mean, Kaashi is just so  _ beautiful,  _ I couldn’t just leave him crying. So I…” Bokuto puts his face in his hands. “I’m a terrible person. I slept with Kaashi out of pity and then it just got out of control, you know? He was single and I don’t want to date, so it was just a casual thing we could do and… Gods, Tetsu, do you realize how much he likes you?” 

 

Tetsurou’s heart clenches, skips a beat. There are so many things he wants to say to Bokuto, so many parts of his story to comment on. But, as always, something Tetsurou used to find so terribly endearing, Bokuto barrelled through and ended on  a gut punching note. 

 

“What?”

 

“I could tell, ya know, before he even told me. And I’m pretty dumb.” Bokuto laughs. “The way he talks about you, looks at you… that’s what you deserve, Tetsu. Not me, not some fake relationship. But the real and honest Akaashi Keiji.” 

 

Tears spring to Tetsurou’s eyes and he blinks them away, pinches the bridge of his nose. “Ah, fuck.”

 

Bokuto grins at him. His warmest, most soft and sincere grin. “You like him too, don’t you?” 

 

Tetsurou flushes, lets out an awkward laugh. “How could I not?” 

 

“Then go fix this.” 

 

And for once, Tetsurou leaves Bokuto’s side willingly, walks away from Bokuto to find and reach for someone else. 

 

*

 

Tetsurou has a plan. 

 

Tetsurou  _ has a plan,  _ but, as seems to be a common occurrence with Akaashi, when the door opens, the plan gets thrown away. Akaashi stands there, eyes bloodshot, dark purple beneath them. His hair is messier than usual, face blotchy, wearing a green v-neck and athletic shorts. He sniffs once, a sleeping Oreo cradled in his arm. 

 

“Hello, Kuroo-san,” he says, voice flat. “Can i help you?” 

 

Tetsurou stares, stares, stares some more, and when something fragile crosses Akaashi’s eyes, he breaks. Tears are spilling from Tetsurou’s eyes before he even notices. 

 

Akaashi’s eyes widen. “Kuroo-san?” 

 

“Don’t call me that,” he chokes. “Don’t put the wall back up. Fuck, Keiji, I’m sorry. I’m such a fucking idiot. Fuck.” 

 

Pursing his lips, Akaashi moves to the side. A silent invitation that Tetsurou takes, toeing off his shoes before slumping onto the couch. “I didn’t consider your feelings and I made you do something really stupid and then when you tried to be honest with me, I—fuck, I’m such an ass.” 

 

Akaashi sits on the other end of the couch, pulls his knees up to his chest, Oreo close to his face. His voice is quiet, slow. “You didn’t make me do anything, Ku… Tetsurou. I decided to go along with your plan. Which I shouldn’t have, given how I feel, but… Well, it was a bad way to get what I wanted.” A pause, Tetsurou hiccups over a sob. “But what you said was cruel.” 

 

“I know. Fuck,” Tetsurou’s throat is dry, his chest hurts. “I know. I’m so sorry.” 

 

Akaashi is silent for a moment, before, “I talked to Bokuto, so I know you already made up with him.” Akaashi hugs Oreo tighter and she makes a noise of protest, moving slightly before slumping back asleep. “And I’m sorry for going behind your back with Bokuto. I knew you liked him and, even if it was from pity, I shouldn’t have done it. And I definitely shouldn’t have continued it.”    

 

“We’re fucking idiots.” 

 

A huff of a laugh. “And assholes.” 

 

Letting out a sigh, Tetsurou wipes his face, looks over at Akaashi. “Can we start over?”

 

Akaashi’s brows furrow, his head tilts to the side.  _ Cute.  _ “What do you mean?” 

 

“I mean—” Tetsurou moves closer, grabs one of Akaashi’s hands loosely, brushing his thumb over the back of it. “I like you, Keiji. I really, really like you. I fucked up, but you’re the most beautiful and funny and kind and—”

 

“Oh, gods, please stop.” Akaashi’s face is bright red and he hides in Oreo’s fur. “You’re embarrassing.” 

 

“Only ‘cause you’re amazing.” 

 

_ “Tetsu.”  _

 

Tetsurou smiles, the most genuine grin in a week. “Let me take you out on a real 

date. Please?”     

 

Akaashi looks at their hands, grins softly, squeezes Tetsurou’s fingers. “Okay.” 

 

*

 

When Tetsurou sees Akaashi, they both pause, and then laugh. 

 

In Akaashi’s hand is a bouquet of white and red roses. In Tetsurou’s hand is a bouquet of stardust lilies. They exchange flowers, thanking each other around giggles. And the sound almost kills Tetsurou, because a giggling Akaashi is akin to an actual angel. 

 

“So,” Akaashi says, interlacing their fingers. “Where are we going?” 

 

Tetsurou kisses the side of his head, begins a saunter. “It’s very cliche.” 

 

“What? Cliche romantic gestures from  _ you?”  _ Akaashi says. “I’m shocked.”

 

“Shut up.” 

 

Akaashi laughs and Tetsurou pulls him closer in response. The walk is mostly filled with Akaashi talking about Oreo, Tetsurou telling him about Oikawa’s visit, and them thinking up ideas to hang out with Bokuto. 

 

They turn a corner and Akaashi laughs. “Are we going where I think we are?” 

 

“I told you that it is very cliche.” 

 

Akaashi snorts. “But why here?” 

 

“Mmm, I’ll tell you later.” 

 

They climb the stairs, open the door to rooftop access, and Akaashi actually stops and stares when he sees it. 

 

A blanket is thrown on the ground, tealight candles surrounding two platefulls of dinner, wine ready to be poured. The sun is just kissing the horizon and Tetsurou looks over, sees the orange reflect in those teal eyes, sees how the dying sunlight gives Akaashi a warm and soft aura. He smiles, kisses Akaashi’s cheek, and pulls him forward. 

 

“Tetsurou,” Akaashi says, not even hiding his wonder. “How did you pull this off?” 

 

“A magician never reveals his secrets.” Tetsurou grabs the wine and glasses, leads Akaashi to the edge again. “Let’s enjoy a little bit before eating, yeah?” 

 

Akaashi grabs a glass, waits for it to be filled. “Sure.” 

 

The sky goes from orange to that fleeting haze, slowly turning an inky blue. The first stars dot the sky, blinking down at them. Tetsurou remembers pouring all of his hopes and dreams into them, remembers how he thought he knew what those hopes and dreams were. 

 

How naive he was. 

 

“Last time we were here,” Tetsurou starts, pulling Akaashi into his side, “I made a dumb suggestion. But you know what?” Akaashi hums. “I really saw  _ you  _ for the first time. I first had the thought that, even as something fake, I could date you. You were someone I really wanted to be around. I think…” Tetsurou licks dry lips. “I think I started to like you then.” 

 

Silence. Akaashi says nothing. Tetsurou can feel his heart trying to beat out of his chest and he’s about to say something else, but Akaashi laughs. 

 

“You’re such an idiot.” 

 

“Hey! I just poured out my heart to you.” 

 

Akaashi hums, wraps his arms around Tetsurou, turns so he’s looking into his eyes. “You’re an idiot, but I still really like you.” 

 

Butterflies swarm in Tetsruou’s stomach, heat rising to his cheeks. Such honest and open confessions from Akaashi, confessions that reciprocate Tetsurou’s own feelings. He’s not sure if he’s ever been happier. 

 

“Be my boyfriend, then? For real?” 

 

“Mmm, I don’t know,” Akaashi says, smirking. “You might have to convince me.”

 

Tetsurou knows a challenge when he hears one and he grabs Akaashi's face, pulls it down so their noses touch. “You're a little shit, you know that?”

 

“But you like me.”

 

“And you like me.”

 

Akaashi bites his lip, eyes flickering from Tetsurou's gaze to his lips, back up. “So what are you going to do about it, Tetsu?” 

 

Tetsurou grins and then he's pulling their gravities together, their lips meeting under the stars, exploding, solar flares dancing all over Tetsurou’s skin, and he will never again take it for advantage. 

  
  
  


  
  
  
  
  
  
  


  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! Please tell me what you think!:)
> 
> I scream a lot on [twitter](https://twitter.com/starsoakedskin?s=09)


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